Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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