Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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