every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
