Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
