The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
