remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
