is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
