so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
