You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Randomize
