i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize