also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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