Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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