I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I need to calm my uterus...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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