Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
