On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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