Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
