Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
