You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i think my tv is drunk
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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