There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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