i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
