Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
