he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
