Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
