I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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