Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
