That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
