The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
