he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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