I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
