If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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