ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
