What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
