dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
