mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
