What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
