You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
