Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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