so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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