I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Do vagina's smell?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
