real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
