Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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