Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
two words...techno handjob
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
