whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
