And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
