I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
