All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
