I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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