My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
