I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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