Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
