Me. At least after what I've been through.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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